Krsna always tests us at every step of life. Sometimes we are tested when nothing happens at all and sometimes when everything happens all at once. What is the Difference?
Actually there is no difference. In both the cases our behaviour and true nature is tested. However, apparently, when nothing happens our faith and patience is tested and when everything happens our composure and tolerance is tested.
We know Mahaprabhu’s prayer; some of us may be reciting it every day “yatha tatha va vidadhaatu lampato, mat prana nathastu sa eva naaparah”- Sikshastakam-8. Treat me as you like; embrace me or make me brokenhearted, but you will still remain the lord of my Life, Unconditionally.In this prayer Sri Caitanya mahaprabhu has clearly explained that there is no point at which we need to lament for any kind of material loss.
A very common scenario is the test when Money or Wealth in any form is absent or present. When I have money, I am tested how I use it; whether I consider that money as my hard earned wealth and use it for sense gratification or whether I consider that money as Krsna’s property and use it for his service? Likewise when I dont have money I am tested how I react? Whether I start complaining, worrying or losing faith. Or if I am composed, and with faith continue my services.I will worry only when my mood is sense enjoyment and due to lack of money my desires are getting frustrated. But if I truly consider “ayi nanda tanuja kinkaram”– I am the eternal servant of the Beautiful Son of Nanda Maharaj- then I wont have to worry at all.
A little anxiousness is good if it is for seva, but the worry of not being able to enjoy is nothing but an unnecessary invitation to depression.
But it is alright. We all have to give a series of tests. Just like we have class tests, weekly tests, Surprise tests, semester exams, Some even have to give KT exams or Re-exams until we graduate. Similarly in life we give a series of tests until we finally graduate to the level of surrender.
“Krsna’s Love is Mercy not Justice”- HH Radhanath Maharaj. Obviously, if it had to be justice. We would never deserve. We could never clear, we could never qualify. It’s only the grace marks that He gives and our inumerable mistakes that he ignores, that we could make some progress.
Through our self obsessed eyes we may only see suffering and difficulties but Krsna’s tests are the most lineant ones. He allows us to look in the books and he also allows us to ask anyone who knows better. All the help is available you just need to sincerely appear with faith and have the willingness to Graduate.